My FIGGI Life with Jeanne

It's Called Parenting, Not Childing: Raising Emotionally Healthy Children.

Episode Summary

Jennifer Abbatiello, certified parent coach, joins the podcast to talk about raising emotionally healthy children in a world that places enormous pressure on our kids. Jeanne talks to Jenn about modern parenting difficulties and ensuring our children feel safe and loved, but still grow up to be healthy and functioning adults.

Episode Notes

Jennifer Abbatiello is the founder of Your Transformed Family and a Certified Parent Coach. She is a mom, wife, cancer survivor, recovering perfectionist, and dominant parent. She is dedicated to helping parents feel calm, confident, and connected to their kids. Her methods come from real-life, hands on experience and today she shares this wisdom with the FIGGI community. 

Episode Key Moments:

[00:20] Introduction

[02:50] Extra stressors in modern parenting and the overwhelming how-to advice that adds to the pressure.

[03:47] The anxiety and stressors placed on our children and how this affects their emotional wellbeing.

[05:28] Why Jenn chose this path and what was her breaking point that led her on this path of coaching parents.

[11:43] Parenting within our unique situations like mental illnesses and high-stress jobs.

[17:35] Should we be honest with our kids about how we are feeling?

[19:52] How to discipline our kids without making them anxious about what they did wrong.

[25:28] How to see discipline through when you're ready to give up.

[26:37] How to raise healthily balanced children when we can't always lead by example.

[31:00] Get in touch with Jenn.

Guest Details:

Jennifer Abbatiello: Website | Instagram | Facebook | Book A Call with Jenn

Jeanne Retief: FIGGI Beauty Shop | My FIGGI Life Podcast | My FIGGI Life Blog | Instagram | Facebook


Episode Transcription

[00:00:01.530] - Intro

Welcome goddess, to your sacred space. This is My Figgi Life podcast where we openly discuss life's wins and losses on our journeys to self discovery. This is your best life. This is your FIGGI life. And now here is your host, Jeanne.


[00:00:20.690] - Jeanne

Hello FIGGI goddess, and welcome to another episode of the My Figgi Life podcast. Today we are talking all about how we raise our children, about parenting, especially for the figgi community because I know you are where I am. You're super stressed, you're a busy career professional and you're trying to do the best that you can do for your kids. I would like to introduce our guest today, Jennifer Abbatiello. Jen is a mom, wife, cancer survivor, recovering perfectionist, dominant parent and a cycle breaker coach. She is passionate about helping high achieving moms and dads thrive and succeed in parenting. Jane successfully juggled a demanding executive job while learning to be a calm and connected parent, all while breaking generational patterns of emotional and physical abuse. She is the founder of Your Transformed Family, dedicated to helping parents feel calm, confident and connected in their families. Jen is more than a theorist. Her methods come from hands on real life experience. She's a graduate of the world's leading institute for parent coaching, the Jai Institute, and is a certified parent coach. With hundreds of family transformations, jen provides instantly actionable strategies that make a real and lasting difference to families.


[00:01:43.980] - Jeanne

Against all odds, Jen became the parent she dreamed of being and honestly shares her personal struggles, creating an inspirational atmosphere of possibility and belief. Welcome to the podcast, Jen.


[00:01:56.460] - Jenn

I am so excited to be here, Jeanne. Thank you for having me.


[00:02:00.060] - Jeanne

I know, you know, FIGGI Goddess, if you are part of the FIGGI community, you know I have panic disorder. But I think if you have any kind of mental illness or disorder, any kind of health disorder, you're always kind of worried about how that translates to your kids or what kind of experience they may be having. With a parent like that, you're wondering if it's genetic. So this episode is not just if you have any kind of anxiety related something going on, it's also just for you as a parent, a busy parent, stressed parent, are you doing the best for your kids? If there's anything else going on in your life that you feel you may be putting on your kids, we're going to talk about that because we are going to talk about how to not raise anxious children. And I think that's a super important topic these days, Jen, because our kids are under so much pressure already.


[00:02:50.700] - Jenn

There's definitely if you think about modern parenting, there's so many more stressors in our lives like mental health and depression and anxiety is through the roof compared to just a few decades ago and there's so much going on and so sometimes more access to information. There's thousands of parenting books, millions of influencers sharing all kinds of parenting content out there. And all of that can leave us feeling more overwhelmed, stressed and anxious.


[00:03:21.370] - Jeanne

Yeah, and that's so true. And that's something we talk about in the FIGGI community a lot, is this idea of all of this how to advice that's out there and how demotivating that can be if you're already trying to do your best and now you have this kind of extra pressure of being told that it is kind of your fault. You're the one that's supposed to be doing it better or correctly or in another way. So it's really overwhelming. And I mean, if we feel that way, I can only understand how our kids must feel because they have so much pressure on them these days from such a young age that already creates, I think, a lot of anxiety.


[00:03:57.280] - Jenn

Yeah. And that's where I like to shift the lens on our role as parenting. And we can get into this more. But a lot of times we focus on our child and their behavior and we are led to believe from a culture perspective that our role as parents is to control our child. And so when we see them misbehaving or struggling with anxiety, we think we're failing or there's something that we're doing wrong. But really the opportunity is called parenting, not childing. And there's really an opportunity to look inward, to see how can I support myself and raise myself alongside my child. Because kids have this amazing way of being mirrors, holding up so many parts of ourselves that are perhaps wounded, that are still left unhealed. I did a lot of therapy before becoming a mother, right. And I didn't want children because I was like, I don't know how to be a mother. And so I focus on my career. And as we were talking a little bit before I lived and traveled the world, I was at the top of my game in my corporate life and I felt like I was doing really well and I had this false sense of control.


[00:05:07.120] - Jenn

And then when I met my now husband and we decided to have kids, it really brought me to my knees because all the things that I thought I had dealt with from my childhood and through my own struggles came to the surface on all the work I still had left to do.


[00:05:27.670] - Jeanne

You chose this path because you were high level executive and you were super stressed and you were trying to be the best mom that you could be, but you were finding that you were so tired, your temper was really short. So how did you go from being in that overwhelmed space that I know a lot of us are in to deciding 100%, this is something I need to change or I need to work on and I want to work on. What was the deciding moment for you in that?


[00:05:56.660] - Jenn

Yeah. I have two boys and they're now eight and ten, but I think it was when my oldest was about three. And.


[00:06:08.950] - Jeanne

I'm so sorry.


[00:06:12.470] - Jenn

I can't even tell you what triggered it because it could have been anything. I was just so highly strong and stressed that anything set me off. And as a young child, he wasn't listening to me, and I got angry. And I remember standing over him, squeezing him a little too tightly, and having those eyes look back at me with fear. And that was kind of the turning point for me. I was like, this has to stop. I cannot be doing this. Yes, I'm not being physically aggressive and abusive the way I had growing up, but I wasn't being the parent I wanted to be. And it was seeing those little eyes looking back at me and realizing the damage that I was doing, that I was like, this has to stop. And that was really my turning point, where I needed to go inward to understand why I was reacting the way I was to this young child's behavior.


[00:07:08.540] - Jeanne

Thank you so much for sharing that with us and being so open and honest about that. I can tell that was really hard for you to share. But I'm so grateful because I think so many of us go through similar things, but you're so scared to say it, and you're so scared to ask for help because you're ashamed. And you know how it is when you're a mom. You have such mom guilt, and you feel so bad, and you feel like whenever you make a small or a huge mistake, oh, my gosh, I've ruined them forever. You get so down on yourself. And I think it's so helpful to know that other parents have also gone through this, other women also experience this, and there's a way that we can make it better for ourselves. That's what you're saying, really, isn't it?


[00:07:55.110] - Jenn

Yeah. And this is why I share my stories and the lows that I've hit, because I haven't come to this from this longing as a child to support parents and children. I wasn't an early childhood educator, and by any stretch of the imagination, I came to this through overcoming my own struggles. And so I have been there. I am imperfect, but I have made a lot of progress where I feel so grateful for the relationships that I have with my boys and that I'm continuing to build.


[00:08:28.800] - Jeanne

You can tell from the way you communicate, from the information that you share. I am really, really happy we're having this conversation. It's so true what you're saying about the moments that you have with your kids and you see them staring back at you and you're thinking, this is not who you want to be. I also come from a very difficult background, and there are times that you do feel, especially when you've had for me, I don't know if it's the same for others, but especially when you've had a particularly difficult stressful week. You do always have those times in your life where it's just a lot more busy at work and stressful than it should be. Plus you have some emotional thing in your private life you need to deal with, and it all comes down to you doing or saying something to your child that you wish you didn't. And I've had moments that I look back at and I'm thinking to myself, gosh, this is literally everything I told myself I would never be and never do.


[00:09:28.470] - Jenn

Yeah. And that's where I love the work of Gabar, Matte and Bessel van der Crokeno, if you're familiar with them. But the sentiment that they share is one that I hold on to a lot with the idea that it's not so much what happens to you, but it's how you make sense of it. And the example that they share in an interview is these two twin boys who are raised by an alcoholic father. And you can replace alcoholism by anything, but let's just use the example. And those two grown men now are interviewed, and one of them is an alcoholic. And he's asked, Why did you become an alcoholic? Because I watched my father. The other one, who grew up to not be an alcoholic and to be successful, confident, resilient. He was asked, how come you didn't become an alcoholic? Because I watched my father. And so the important part is making sense of the experiences that you've had. And so no matter what mistake we make, we are going to make mistakes. Let's just put that on the table. The objective is not to strive for perfection. It's always like, we just need to be a good parent 70% of the time.


[00:10:38.720] - Jenn

The other 30%, we need to focus on repair and helping them make sense of what was going on for us and how it was not about them, because our behavior is our own, but what we want to avoid or help them make sense of is children at a young age are very narcissistic. It's just the way their brain is wired and developed. They think everything is about them. So if we behave a certain way, they might interpret it as I'm not good enough or I'm not worthy. All these beliefs that they hold onto because they associate our actions with who they are as a person. And so to decouple that, we need to talk about it. So look, after we've messed up, it's like the apology, but it's how you do the apology that's so important. It's not about shame or guilt, but just, this is what I was feeling. This is I was needing. I imagine that was maybe scary for you, like, tell me more. And it's those conversations that allow them to overcome whatever challenge comes their way.


[00:11:43.330] - Jeanne

We all bring home work sometimes, right? And it's just it's life, basically. And we always say life happens for example, me, I have panic disorders, so I have certain things that trigger me and that I'm more sensitive to than others. So if I've had a particularly anxiety inducing time at work or a particularly stressful day, I'm very bad at being overstimulated. So loud noises, lights, many people speaking at once, I completely snap. Or if it's been a really bad day, it may even increase to the point of a panic attack. So for my little girl, on the other hand, she comes home, she's super excited, she had the best day at school and she wants to sing the song that they've practiced all day at the top of her lungs and she wants to bounce around and tell me all about her day. So that's from her point and from my point of view, I'm just trying to keep all of the bricks in the building. That's my example. But I think many of us deal with that. And then you are a little bit more short tempered. It is a little bit more stressful to engage with them during the evening and pay attention and be in the moment of the conversation of what they're trying to do.


[00:13:00.730] - Jeanne

Do you have any tips for us for those days?


[00:13:03.690] - Jenn

For sure. And I can definitely relate to that. As you described too. I remember walking through the door and your kids are so excited to see you, they're all over you, they want to tell you about their day, they're all excited. And all I wanted was like a minute to myself and go to the washroom. I'm like and so what I found has helped me, and as well with many clients I work with, is depending if you're it's going to look different depending if you're working out of the home or a lot of people are still working from home. But for me, when I was working out of the home and I'd be commuting to work, I would get off one stop earlier on the train and use that ten minute walk home to help manage that transition, to be able to shift gears. We talk about kids in transitions and how they struggle with transitions. It's sometimes hard for us too. And so for me, it was setting that ritual of I am not checking my emails anymore. My phone would be off between six to eight. Yes, sometimes I would have to do work later, but I would protect that time where I am managing the information that's coming in.


[00:14:04.420] - Jenn

So my phone would be totally off. My walk home, I would do a short meditation, I would put on music and I love music. I can talk a lot about how it's so emotive like depending what you choose to listen to, it can really help shift your mood. And so a lot of times on my walk home, I would lift this into something upbeat. And so when I walked through the door, I felt a little bit more prepared to be present with my kids. That said, when I walked in and I felt prepared, I also want you to remember that our kids only need three to ten minutes of undivided attention and focus to be filled up. And so I'd walk to the door, prepare to be with them for three to ten minutes, and then I'd be like, mom just needs a minute. Now I'm going to wash them.


[00:14:50.030] - Jeanne

And like, really three to ten minutes.


[00:14:52.330] - Jenn

Three to ten minutes. We think that they need so long, but if you do it really well and I share some tips on how to do special time, well, you want to obviously be totally present and enter their world, but it's only three to ten minutes, and so that already gives you a little lower expectation. Like, I don't have to spend like, hours with them. I can spend three to ten minutes, and then, depending on their age, maybe they can do something independently. You can go get some quiet time and then come back and feel supported and not as overstimulated or tapped out.


[00:15:22.150] - Jenn

And it's so true what you're saying, because this is something that I only recently started doing, and the amount of difference it made to my anxiety levels and the amount of pressure I came home with and kept in my mind during the evening made such a profound difference. And I started to first of all, before I leave the office, I do like one or two minutes of grounding to try and leave everything in the office, in the office. And when I come into the door, I immediately go and put my phone in a different bedroom to charge, and I leave it there until the next day. And just that fact that I do not have that digital reminder of everything that I didn't do that day, or to just quickly grab your phone and Google something or go on Amazon or whatever the case may be, made such a huge difference. So I'm so glad that you mentioned that. And it's astounding that you said three to ten minutes because it really kind of completely changes your world of how you think about parenting. Honestly, it was almost like an epiphany for me now because you really do think, oh my gosh, I'm so tired, and it's like 4 hours until bedtime.


[00:16:30.110] - Jeanne

I have to give my all for 4 hours, every single minute, every second. It has to be all about them. And sometimes it's just so hard.


[00:16:39.650] - Jenn

Then you don't get to the other side. And I see it even you mentioned the phone. And I love that you come home and you put in a different room. Because we are a society that is so hyper connected and it has beautiful, powerful things like to be able to FaceTime anyone around the world and have these connections. But it's also we need to be able to set boundaries for ourselves so it doesn't overtake us. And so I love that habit that you have that you come home and you put that away. Because a lot of times if our kids see us constantly on these devices, modeling is a really important piece of we're then trying to set a boundary on screens and they're seeing us always on our devices. It's conflicting. And then we always feel like they need something to keep them entertained when really they need the creativity and the freedom to explore.


[00:17:35.330] - Jeanne

What do you think about being honest with your kids? Because what I've also done in the past, that has worked for me. But I mean, I don't do it every night. I do have the reality that I cannot sometimes control my anxiety. That's part of who I am. That's the way I'm wired. I do my best to live a lifestyle, to manage it in the best way that I can, but sometimes I do have bad moments. So I would just tell my little one, you know what? Mommy is really, really tired tonight, and I cannot give you everything that I would like to, but you're so welcome to sit here next to me and play a game or build your puzzle. I will sit here and I will hold your hand or, I'm sick tonight. I really don't feel so well. When you feel sick, you also don't feel so well. And it's almost like she takes that a lot better because she understands and she's kind of willing to engage with me in that way. And I think many times we don't do this because we think we can't say that to our kids or we can't tell them we're sick, we can't tell them we're having a bad day.


[00:18:37.740] - Jeanne

That's not for them to kind of stress about. But for me, I've seen it work in some instances. What do you think of something like that?


[00:18:44.540] - Jenn

I love that, right? We talk about the pressures of modern parenting, and a lot of it is we have this martyrdom. Like we need to be self sacrificing and we always need to put our kids first. And that is not at all what it's about. So I love how you are openly saying, sweetie, I'm really tired right now. We're going to keep something easy, or I'm just going to play and I'm right here beside you if you want to hold my hat. I love that because we're also modeling that boundaries are important and respecting what our needs are, because then we're not raising kids who don't know how to set their boundaries. And people, pleasers, because they've seen us set limits. Because if we always feel that we have to be at their Becking call, then this is the expectations that they start to develop. But what you beautifully shown your daughter is that you're attuned to what your body needs. You're respecting that. You're communicating that.


[00:19:37.370] - Jeanne

Thank you so much. That makes me feel so much better because we stress about these things so much. And I think what we also stress about a lot, especially as we're talking about being really busy, coming home, maybe late, being overtired, is how we discipline our kids and how to do it in a way that doesn't make them anxious about what they've done wrong. I struggle with this with my little girl a lot, and I have to catch my thoughts many times because I will almost immediately go to, oh, no, she's also got anxiety. I can see it. It's the same as me. She's also so sensitive. And then that starts snowballing. So I hate seeing that bewildered look in her eyes when you say, listen, it was not cool to hide your banana peel in your cupboard. I mean, you need to use the trash can for this, but you kind of feel like there's no good way to say it because you don't want to use the word I'm mad. But that's probably also not too bad, because you have to teach your kids that anger is a normal emotion, but you don't want to use the word disappointed.


[00:20:39.520] - Jeanne

You don't want to see them for the first time after school and immediately be mad at them. So how do we do that? How do we discipline our kids without making them super anxious about what they've done wrong?


[00:20:50.380] - Jenn

Well, first I want to commend you for that awareness where you know you're coming from a place of fear, right? A lot of times we have all these thoughts, and a lot of times they are rooted in our fears of, am I ruining my child? Oh, am I passing on my anxiety to my kids? And all these thoughts swirl in our heads, and that makes it harder to show up fully present, right, because we've already were taken by these thoughts that are controlling us. And so the first part is really noticing those thoughts. I'm not saying to stop them, because it's not about stopping them. It's about noticing that they're there so that we can reframe them and notice what is true. And I would also, when we think about discipline, I really want to talk about what is discipline? And when I Google the word discipline, the definition is about obeying and using punishments. And that's not what the heart of discipline is. If you think about the word and its origin, it's really about to teach and to guide. And so if we look at our role as parents as coming alongside our child versus powering over and controlling when they do something like you mentioned your daughter leaving the banana peel in the closet, one of the most powerful things is getting curious, right?


[00:22:07.190] - Jenn

So noticing our own thoughts and fears coming up, putting on our own oxygen mask on first, and then start getting curious. Lily, I'm curious why'd you put the banana peel in the closet.


[00:22:19.210] - Jeanne

You know what? When you say it. It sounds so obvious, but in that moment, it really doesn't feel that obvious because you're thinking, what the hell? Why would you put a banana pill in your cupboard?


[00:22:33.950] - Jenn

And this is a hard transparency, is noticing our thoughts, putting that oxygen mask on first so we can make a different decision. We're not always going to. And this is where it's the practice. And we're building new muscle neurons so our default becomes different. But it's kind of like if you cross country ski on all that, it's easier to go on these tracks that are formed, right? That's our way. Our body is currently wired and all the things that we've learned in life, that's our current pattern. But if we're trying to make different choices, we're trying to go off the beaten path. And so that feels tricky initially, and that's where it's practice, having some self compassion when we don't react in the way that I just said, because I don't always react that way either.


[00:23:15.410] - Jeanne

Well, so let's maybe for our listeners, let's try and give them a practical example, right? So we'll use Lily as the guinea pig again, okay? She is very sensitive. So when I do have to talk to her about something or discipline her, she will start crying pretty quickly. But you can really see how unbelievably bad she feels about it and how stressed she is. Like, you can see how anxious she gets. Say, for example, she's been drawing on the couch again, it's not the first time you've spoken to her about it. So how do you approach something like that?


[00:23:50.680] - Jenn

It sounds like that's an example where it happened a few times. And so it's about I see you drew on the couch. What was going on? I'm going to have to hold these crayons, these markers, and put them away for now until we're ready to try again to draw on paper. And this is a definition by Dr. Becky Kennedy, who talks about our roles as parents and child. And so it allows us to have clarity on our jobs, right? So if we think about our job as a parent, our job is to set limits and boundaries and to validate and empathize. And so the boundary is, I can't let you draw on the couch. I'm going to help you. Because our kids don't have a developed prefrontal cortex, which is our higher brain, where we have the rational, problem solving, impulse control. And so a lot of times our expectations of what they're able to do is really out of line with where their brain development is. And so if you're noticing that your child is repeatedly having a hard time exerting impulse control not to draw on the couch, it might be like, these crayons are going away for now.


[00:24:52.540] - Jenn

And maybe it's like, okay, they come out when I'm able to supervise and help you draw on the paper. And then it's like, okay, how do we make this right. Now, what can we do to clean this couch and getting them involved in that repair? It's like, you're a good kid and you made a bad choice. And this is also the difference between I'm not a bad kid because oftentimes when we discipline with punishment, our kids start to internalize that they are bad versus they did something bad. And so helping them repair helps them feel like they are good inside.


[00:25:27.590] - Jeanne

Like you said, it is our job to set boundaries and have limitations, to empathize, to validate. But sometimes it is really difficult to see it through, to see the discipline through, especially when you feel so bad for them, when they look so anxious. What do you do then? Because I just give up. I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. It's okay, I'll clean the banana peel. I didn't mean to say that you were bad.


[00:25:52.270] - Jenn

What I'm hearing you say is that you're feeling guilty about how your child's reacting to this discipline. And this is a tricky part, right? Because when I say our job is to set boundaries, they're not going to like that necessarily, right? Like, imagine, like, you're saying that we're not having dessert today, or you're not getting screen time, or it's bedtime and you don't want to go to bed. They're not going to like the boundary per se, but if it's rooted in a value that's important to you, like, we keep our house clean and tidy, and we don't want to have rodents coming around this banana peel, then it's easier to hold it. But it's also you have to allow a space that they're going to have a feeling about it. You left the banana peel there. We can't do that. What's going on? Their feelings are never wrong, right? We want to correct the behavior, but we want to allow the feelings.


[00:26:37.380] - Jeanne

How do we raise our kids to be healthily, balanced children if we can't always lead by example? Because we are the ones that are supposed to set the example. But we also have to recognize our own limitations as human beings. We aren't all strong in the same things. We don't all have the same gifts and the same strengths. We do get tired. We do get impatient.


[00:27:00.160] - Jenn

Yeah. And this is where reframing our expectations of being the perfect parent, that's not the goal, right? As I mentioned before, the goal is trying to be the best parent we can 70% of the time, and that 30% where, yeah, you might have a panic attack where you might not be your best self, you're more stressed, and you mess up. Then focus on repair. Focus on how do you do like an apology? Like I was saying before, to help them make sense of our actions or our behaviors is not about them. It's what's going on for us. And we're putting on our oxygen mask, and we might need more time for ourselves where we're. Not going to be doing whatever activity they want to do because we're not in a place where we can that day. And so really, that self care that we so talk about is not selfish because we cannot show up for our kids in the way we want to if we are not prioritizing our needs too.


[00:27:50.250] - Jeanne

Thank you so much for saying that because I say that so much in the blog and on the podcast, and it was something that I struggled with for the longest time, is understanding how important self care is because it translates to the people around me that need to live with me and with my energy. Can you share like three short tips for us on how to help lesson anxiety in our kids in the stressful world that we live in?


[00:28:15.620] - Jenn

I talked to my kids about this the other day as I was preparing for this because I wanted to hear from them, what do they find helpful that we work on? And one of them is regularly talking about feelings and noticing if you have some fear of, oh, I don't want to talk about it because it's going to make it worse. But it's actually when we don't talk about our feelings and we set them down, that they can grow and we can make up all these stories that are bigger than the reality. And so I encourage you to regularly talk about what's going on versus dismissing and validating and being able to support them. So, for example, I know you're feeling scared to go to the doctor, and I know that you can handle this. This validates their feeling of the fear versus, okay, don't worry, it's going to be fine, but also inspires a sense of confidence that they can be brave. And my little one, Adam, who's now eight, and he was sharing the stories, like, some mornings I don't want to go to school and I'm feeling like and he talks about he gets these butterflies in his stomach, right?


[00:29:12.610] - Jenn

And that's connecting the feeling of a little being anxious, going to school and where do you notice it in your body? And then he talks about what supports him is like he shifts the focus on something he's looking forward to that day, and it might be playing with his friend at recess. And so that helps to get through that anxious one. It's naming it and noticing where it's happening in your body. And then for him, it's kind of reframing to focus on something good and then being able to get through. And the more that we're able to talk our kids through it, you can look back and see that you got through it. And that's resiliency. Resiliency is not stuffing it down and ignoring it. Resiliency is talking about it, feeling it, and getting through that muck. The second strategy I would encourage you to think about is to express positive but realistic expectations. Like, don't over promise that you're never going to get teased at school, that you're always going to win the soccer game, that you're not going to fail the test. That's not something we can promise our kids. But what you can reassure them is that they're going to have your support to get through it.


[00:30:16.140] - Jenn

And then finally, you touched on this. But practicing grounding exercises, one of my favorites is I don't know if you're familiar with the 54321 grounding exercise.


[00:30:25.680] - Jeanne

I love that.


[00:30:26.630] - Jenn



[00:30:27.670] - Jeanne

So for our listeners, can you just explain shortly, quickly again, what is the.


[00:30:31.400] - Jenn

54321 name five things you can see, four things that you can hear, three things you can smell, two things you can touch, and one thing you can taste. And the purpose of this is it gets us to connect and ground to the here and now.


[00:30:48.910] - Jenn

I love that and I love incorporating these techniques also in parenting. If our listeners want to know more about you, about your transformed family, about the services that you offer, can you tell us a little bit more about that? How does it work? Is it like a coaching sessions or are there different options? Where should they go? To read more about you to get.


[00:31:14.330] - Jeanne

In contact with you, you do not need to work with me privately one on one.


[00:31:18.320] - Jenn

You can go to www, yourtransformfamily. comSTART, and you will get email support with tips and strategies on three critical steps to becoming a calm, incompetent parent. So you're going to get support right in your inbox to do a lot of the transformation on your own that I support clients with privately, one on one, I'm always available to support more custom one on one as well. If someone wants to book a free call with me, going to


[00:31:49.840] - Jeanne

You're also on Instagram.


[00:31:51.270] - Jenn

I am at your transformed family.


[00:31:53.590] - Jeanne

And if you are driving, as always, don't worry, all of these links will be in the episode description so that you can easily find it. Thank you so much for being on the Myfigure Live podcast and for sharing your brilliant Ins sites.


[00:32:05.710] - Jenn

I hope this was helpful. It was amazing speaking with you. And we all struggle. We all struggle. You are not alone. Parenting is hard and we can do hard things.


[00:32:14.830] - Jeanne

Thank you so much. So Figgi Goddess, I hope you have a wonderful day. And as always, remember that we all deserve to celebrate the goddess within. See you again next time.